|
|
 |
Articles
|
|
Become a step parent
|
|
|
DAVID C. PACK
http://www.new-dating.com/search.php
|
Also, with the second time around, or because of children born out of wedlock, either one or both people could be bringing children into the marriage. You could soon become a step-parent. Can you handle this, and are you preparing yourself for the possibility, particularly if this is happening later in life? Is your prospective spouse prepared for your children?
Get to know all the children in the picture, and include them on some outings during both dating and courtship. Talk with them and help them understand what is happening. But never allow them to dictate the circumstances, let alone the outcome!
A whole host of complicating factors—all important to consider—can come into play with such couples. A “yours and ours” arrangement and a “mine and ours” arrangement are different from what could become a “yours, mine and ours” situation later. And then there is the question of whether you will permit the other person to help “rear” what are “your children.” Also, will he or she want to help you? There must be agreement on the matter of how the children should be reared as part of a joint effort, with both spouses understanding the need to work together in all situations. All these are absolutely crucial issues. They MUST be resolved, at least in principle, in advance of marriage.
Another related point for consideration is that if only one person has had children, this party may feel that he or she is “through” with having more. Is this agreeable to both parties? If one seems willing to “bend,” is this being done largely against his or her will? It is absolutely vital that this matter also be understood and worked out well before the wedding day.
It is critical that those considering remarriage do not try to makeover a potential new spouse in the image of a previous husband or wife. That marriage is behind you—forever! The person or persons you were married to were unique human beings. So is the person that you may now be considering for courtship and marriage. It is critical you both recognize that you have come to be in love with each other, not merely in love with the idea of reliving a memory. Chasing the past is fraught with problems and is a hope that can never be. If you have not yet fully accepted that there is no way to return to or relive the past, you are not ready to date seriously, let alone remarry.
|
DAVID C. PACK
http://www.new-dating.com/search.php
|
|
|
