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Dealing With Rejection
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Dealing With Rejection in The World of Conventional Dating
Rejection is a very painful, yet common, part of modern and conventional dating. It is important to not dwell on the matter.
Rejection is a painful and unavoidable part of living the single life and participating in conventional dating. It is easy to take rejection very personally, wondering what could have been done differently to hold the rejecter's attention. Often times however, the problem lies with one's date rather than oneself. He or she could be going through a some personal issues they don't feel comfortable sharing. It is critical not to take it personally if your date does not contact you again right away. Move on like nothing is out of the ordinary and he or she may swing by unexpectedly down the road.
Getting rejected by a prospective romantic interest will often happen to a person more than once, even to supermodels and celebrities. So, in a way, rejection is just a part of life. It is very difficult to recover, but remembering you are not may make coping easier.
Dr. Shoshanna of the dating site www.adamanddrew.com/rejection.cfm recommends dumpees to not blame the demise of the relationship on themselves. 'Don't take it to mean there is something wrong with you. Take a broader view. Realize that the dating process is a process of 'selection'--of simply making acquaintances with another and finding out if the two of you match or are suitable for one another.' Often incompatibility simply means there is a difference in goals, interests, backgrounds or basic relationship patterns.
Try to consider every date a success regardless of the outcome. Think of it as target practice--each miss bringing you a step closer to your ideal match. To avoid becoming depressed about unsuccessful dates, remind yourself ahead of time that not every date is going to be a successful one, and many are going to be absolutely awful!
It is normal to get angry when rejected and the negative feelings are something to be aware of. Revenge, though appealing, is not a good idea. Instead, get out and talk to positive friends and family members. It is almost impossible not to dwell on rejection, but try to look beyond it. Even though it is always easier to remember the bad rather than the good, try to think of it as a learning experience.
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