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Articles
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Keeping the Love of Your Life
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Helen Fisher
http://new-dating.com
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Could this be the year you meet your soul mate? Renowned anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., author of the new book Why Him? Why Her?, has a formula for romance based on mixing the right brain chemistry.
In the spring of 2007, 500 couples who read O participated in an online survey I developed to explore how happy different personality combinations are together. The findings were stunning. More than 70 percent said they would marry the same person again — after an average of 16 years together. That is a supreme achievement.
But what about those of you who haven't yet found real love? From my studies of genetics and neuroscience I have come to believe that people fall into four broad personality types — each influenced by a different brain chemical: I call them the Explorer, Builder, Director, and Negotiator. When I designed the survey, I wanted to see which types had married each other and stayed together, and how the mix was playing out in their relationships. Now, with additional data, I can offer scientific guidance about dating depending on which personality you are — especially if you're looking for chemistry that lasts.
So which love type are you?
The Explorer:
You know the type: Explorers crave adventure and are willing to take risks. Highly curious, creative, energetic, spontaneous, they have many interests — from hiking and spelunking to theater and reading.
Famous examples: John F. Kennedy, Princess Diana, Angelina Jolie.
Under the influence: The Explorer's behavior is largely affected by the brain chemical dopamine, which is a key player in our experience of pleasure and novelty. Longs for: A playmate.
Bonds well with: Other Explorers.
If you are an Explorer: My advice is to go slowly. Because you're so impulsive, you can get romantically involved too fast. And because you hate confrontation, you risk bolting from a relationship that could prove fantastic. If you find someone you are genuinely interested in, check your inclination to go out with others, and focus your energy on him or her.
If you're dating one: Be prepared to live this romance one day at a time. Remain flexible, and know that for your partner, "dullness is a misdemeanor," as novelist Ethel Wilson astutely put it.
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Helen Fisher
http://new-dating.com
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