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Articles
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The Types of Men You Want
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jessi bee
http://www.new-dating.com/
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The Types of Men You Want and Why Your Should Avoid Them
Crises of conflict between our hearts (or loins) and our heads are nothing new. Logically, we know that there are certain types of guys who are bad news, baby, bad news. That does not, pretty much ever, stop us from wanting them. It can even make us lust after their internet dating profile even more.
Sigh. It’s really not fair. But it’s okay because as smart, able-minded women, we are beyond giving in to that, right? Just nod your head and try your hardest to believe that’s true. That’s what I do. But in all seriousness, it can be difficult to steer clear of the bad apples. So, as a little extra fortification against the formidable fornicators out there, here’s a little refresher course in the men you’ll meet and why you should give them the boot.
The Playboy
We Want Him Because: he's so charming! He knows how to make drinks magically materialize in crowded bars, how to always look impeccable without looking like he tried too hard and how to give every woman around the “come ‘ere, baby” eyes, even though you know he’s dated a handful of your friends.
Avoid Because: This guy is the egotistical equivalent of a kid with ADD. For one brief, shining moment, you might be the best thing going for him, but at the end of the day, he wants a string of beautiful women and beautiful experiences to feed his ego.
You will never be more beautiful to him than he is to himself. The truly dangerous part? He’s so charismatic and generally fun to be around that you just might start agreeing with him. And you never need a man who will bring you down in your own eyes.
The I’m-Dark-And-Damaged Guy
We Want Him Because: we want to fix him. Essentially, this guy is to us girls what the hot girl is to the Playboy; a tool to feed our ego. We all (secretly or honestly) think we’re that girl, the girl in the movie who changes the totally messed up, but still totally sweet, main character guy and then he loves her forever and ever, amen. Not to mention that the whole dark and twisty thing can be hot.
Avoid Because: He may not want to be fixed. More often than not, these guys really relish playing this role. Why? Because it gets them chicks! Like you! It works and they know it. Even if it’s not just a ploy to get laid, a guy who has serious emotional issues and doesn’t take it upon himself to get better is lazy.
You might get off on taking care of him now but that glow will wear off. What’s more, one day you might want to him to reciprocate and chances are that a man who won’t take care of himself sure as hell can’t be nurturing to a significant other.
Mr. I-Know-You
We Want Him Because: he seems sassy and flirty. This is the guy who, after the first few hours of the first good date, is all smugness and condescension with the notion that he’s going you “all figured out”. He nods in expectant approval as you express opinions and answer questions about yourself, as he feels super self-satisfied that he’s already psychologically dissected you to the point of total understanding.
If you’re feeling attracted to this guy, it’s most likely because, right then, you do feel like he gets you. And that’s a powerful feeling. Plus, his attitude makes it seem like he was so easily able to fully perceive you, whereas countless men have tried and failed to do so. That first date high will have you believing, at least for a second, that he is the guy for you because of this.
Avoid Because: This is his thing. This is what he does. He’s some kind of amateur psycho-analyst and, like the other guys on this list (are you noticing a theme here?), this is mostly just to beef up his own self-image. He likes to think he’s a master of minds.
While it always feels good to feel like someone “gets” you, this fella isn’t for real. He’s not understanding you, he’s pigeon-holing you. You are a complex, interesting, evolving and changing creature and when someone slaps a label on you right away, they aren’t giving you any room to change and progress as a person. And believe me, this kind of guy won’t allow you to change in his mind after he’s decided who you are. To do that would be to admit he doesn’t know everything and that’s what he’s all about.
For someone to sincerely and entirely know who you are, they have to pick up on the rhythm you function and change and fluctuate in…everyone is in constant, changing motion (at least all healthy people) and for someone to get that, they need to spend more than a few hours at a coffee shop with you. Anyone who claims otherwise is likely completely full of it. Don’t book that next date. It’s not worth it.
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jessi bee
http://www.new-dating.com/
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