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Remember: Even if we can make generalizations about men and about women, not all men are like men in general and not all women are like women in general.
First Date.
The safest rule of thumb for a first date (especially if the first date is a blind date) is two cars, public place, don't leave together. This is important. It is very important if you "click." When chemistry is high, people tend to throw caution to the wind!
First dates can be draining, especially if you have not dated in some time. You may even feel you are back in school
In addition, if there is not interest in the other person, a long date can be a boring or even an agonizing period of time.
For that reason, we suggest a short date, no more than one hour. Lunch, an ice cream cone, coffee, etc. make the best first dates.
Meeting and Dating Tip of the Week
Safely Single!
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Starting again: for men and women wondering about dates and dating.
Who Asks
Either sex! Both men and women are normally flattered to be asked for a date. However, neither sex wants to date everyone who asks. They will usually (but not always) say "no" if they do not wish to date you.
Don't let a few singles who decline your offer discourage you from asking again. It will happen.
Men (usually but not always) have a thicker skin for rejection that women. They usually keep asking although many women give up after a few rejections. Thank goodness for those of us who do keep trying.
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Who Pays
Rule of thumb: The person who asks for the date pays for the date. Dutch treat is the option of the person who is asked.
How to Decline
Saying "no" to a date is harder for some people than saying "yes." Keep it simple. Tell the truth! At least tell part of the truth.
Don't lead someone on by saying you are busy when you aren't or that you will call back when you won't.
The truth can be as simple as "I'm flattered you asked me for a date because you are such a nice (attractive, fun, sincere, etc.) person. However, I'm going to decline because I don't feel we have much in common."
Better yet, tell the blunt truth. "I'm flattered you asked me for a date because you are such a nice (attractive, fun, sincere, etc.) person. However, I'm going to decline because I don't feel we have much chemistry."
If the chemistry was there, there would be no declining unless the other person was totally unsuitable. We can't resist chemistry!
Also, we don't have chemistry with many people so just say it, "No chemistry!"
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